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Joke of the Day
"I won the drowning competition. Wanna know my secret? Well, don't hold your breath!"
Next Joke
"10: Mom what's a metaphor? Me: My life is a train wreck. 10: I know Mom, but what is a metaphor?"
"If you've ever watched a butcher wrap pork chops, you've seen me wrapping Christmas presents."
"How are the homeless like votes? Republicans have them thrown out."
"Did you hear they came out with a drink called the Osama Bin Laden? It's two shots and a splash of water."
"SURGEON: *cutting open patient's torso* NURSE: sir, what are you doing?! this is a knee replacement! SURGEON: there's a Pokemon in there"
"I'm emotionally constipated. I haven't given a shit in days"
"How does a gay male take off his condom? He farts."
"A father walks in on his son... A father walks in on his son masturbating. The father says, ""Son, If you keep masturbating you'll go blind!"" The son replies, ""Dad, I'm over here."""
"What is the similarity between a blonde and a turtle? When they fall on their backs they're fucked"