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Joke of the Day

"Saw a guy with three lip-ring piercings on the subway today. Took everything in my power not to attach a shower curtain."

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"""Would the owner of a blue PT Cruiser with license plate 'CRUZIN' please park your car 300 miles from here and kill yourself? Thank you."""
"I put a black hole in my living room. It's great. Really pulls the room together."
"Thieves had broken into my house and stolen everything except my soap, shower gel, towels and deodorant. Those dirty bastards."
"Whenever a guy peeps into my phone, I open the front cam and take a selfie with him."
"How much do you weigh after eating Chinese food? Wonton"
"My lesbian neighbors asked me what I wanted for Christmas... My lesbian neighbors asked me what I wanted for Christmas. They got me a Rolex. They clearly misunderstood me when I said ""I wanna watch."""
"Where does big-foot keep his genitals? In his sascrotch!"
"""OMG IT'S RAINING A LITTLE BIT AND NOW I'VE FORGOTTEN EVERYTHING I'VE EVER KNOWN!!!"" - Drivers, apparently."
"What do you call an anticlimactic punchline? ""This is an actual question"""
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