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Joke of the Day

"Pupil: Sir would you mind e-mailing my exam results to my parents? Teacher: But your parents don't have a comuter. Pupil: Exactly!"

"Being an adult is basically that feeling when the fireworks are over and it's time to go home, but all the time."

"Fact: 9/10 people enjoy date rape"

"I just fake-went-to-the-bathroom to avoid someone. He followed me in. I don't think the pee noises I'm making with my mouth are working."

"The way I see it, EVERY FRIDAY is Good Friday.. "

"I haven't seen an Ice Bucket Challenge video in about a week. Did we cure ALS?"

"Did you hear about that actress that stabbed herself? Reese something? No it was with her knife"

"What did the redneck get on his SAT? Drool."

"I like my women like I like my milk Freshly made and trapped in the fridge"

"TIL That Oscar Pistorius once opened a pizza parlor only to have it fail and go bankrupt. The cause? His car was always breaking down, so OP never delivered."