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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between God and Bono?? God doesn't walk around thinking he's Bono!!"

"Why did Sally the Sloth sleep in all day? Because her crippling depression leaves her unable to function properly."

"What's a gangsta say when a house falls on him? Get off me, homes!"

"I was looking for some camouflage trousers earlier... But I couldn't find any"

"Dentist: ""You need a crown."" - Patient: ""Finally someone who understands me"""

"I heard Oscar Pistorius had a hard time finding a lawyer for his murder trial... they kept saying he didn't have a leg to stand on."

"What's green then turns red really quickly? A frog in a blender"

"My son just hugged me. Him: You smell good. Me: Like what? Him: *sniffs* You smell like love. Me: *heart melts* Lets go to Toys R Us."

"My ex-girlfriend was like an incompetent tailor... She didn't suit me."

"I wake up everyday planning to be productive and then a voice in my head says ""haha good one"" and we laugh and laugh and take a nap."