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Joke of the Day

"My son just hugged me. Him: You smell good. Me: Like what? Him: *sniffs* You smell like love. Me: *heart melts* Lets go to Toys R Us."

"I've got a joke about Jonesville but the punchline is too long."

"What starts with F and ends in UCK? Fire truck."

"Tinder for dudes is mostly scrolling through the mini cards they hand you on a Las Vegas Blvd street corner"

"What do you call three Trumpies? Drei rot."

"I was going 70 miles an hour and got stopped by a cop who said -Do you know the speed limit is 55 miles per hour?- -Yes officer but I wasn't going to be out that long.-"

"I never understood why vets... aren't called dogtors."

"The invention of the wheel was revolutionary. The lightbulb was a brilliant idea, and the rocket's invention is simply out of this world."

"Andy Griffith's family are undecided on funeral arrangements. They may cremate, they Mayberry"

"The four stages of life: 1. You believe in Santa 2. You don't believe in Santa 3. You dress up like Santa 4. You look like Santa"