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Joke of the Day

"Why did Sally the Sloth sleep in all day? Because her crippling depression leaves her unable to function properly."

"Melania Trump walks into a bar... and orders and Angel shot with lime."

"Women defy physics. The heavier they get, the easier they are to pick up."

"Tombstones should just say how old the person was. I don't wanna walk around doing grave math."

"MAST JOKES: http://mastjoks.blogspot.com/2013/01/blog-post_7068.html#.UQVQ48OF1Jc.reddit"

"Did you hear about the Olympic sprinter who got busted for steroids? Now he's out of the running."

"Therapist: what would you say to your dad if he were alive today? Me: sorry for cremating you. I honestly thought you were dead"

"Political correctness... Is for faggots."

"Me: ""Can you go back four slides?"" Bride: ""To the wedding dress?"" Me: ""No, the cheese plate."" Me: Wipes tears."

"I just finished doing 100 push-ups over a period of 8 years"