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Joke of the Day
"""All dressed up and nowhere to go."" - penguins"
Next Joke
"I was playing Words with Fiends I scored 50 points for using all my runes, but summoned Pazuzu."
"What's a Mexican's favourite sport? Cross country"
"What's the difference between Sin and Shame? It's a sin to put it in, and a shame to pull it out."
"According to my iPhone Health app, I walked 1,787 steps around this Golden Corral buffet tonight .... So I got that going for me."
"6yo: Wow you look much better already daddy! Will you be able to have the stitches out soon? Taxidermist: He will not"
"How many skin divers does it take to circumcise a whale? 4 skin divers"
"A guy on Catfish dated a girl for 4 years despite only seeing ONE picture of her. I wouldn't buy a futon on Craigslist with only one pic."
"Difference between a newspaper and a TV..... Have you ever tried swatting a fly with a television?"
"4yo has repeated one word for an hour. 6yo is ninja fighting his imaginary friend. My move to a mental asylum will be an easy transition."