103239

Joke of the Day

"4yo has repeated one word for an hour. 6yo is ninja fighting his imaginary friend. My move to a mental asylum will be an easy transition."

"How Did I Make It To The Middle East? Iran there."

"I used to date a girl with a lazy eye. I had to break up with her. She was seeing somebody on the side."

"Did anyone else hear about the nasty crash involving a mustang and a t-bird? There was horse shit and feathers everywhere!"

"My dog swallowed my engagement ring last night, but luckily coughed it out when he barked. There was a diamond in the ruff."

"[Calls boss] I'm gonna be late... ""How late?"" *Cut to me trapped inside a tiny house made from Lego* I've no idea to be honest with you..."

"What's black, white, and red all over? A dead panda!"

"What do you call a boring Muslim? Abdull."

"What do jedhi's and rape have in common? ... They both use the force"

"Q: What is a crowbar? A: A place were crows go to get a drink!"