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Joke of the Day

"I tell people I broke my neck playing sports but it was actually from flicking my ponytail to unleash ancient curses."

"""Son, I wanted to let you know you were adopted,"" my dad told me. ""Are you kidding? Really?"" I shouted. ""Yup, get ready,"" he said. ""They'll be picking you up in about an hour."""

"What do the twin towers and genders have in common? There used to be two and now its too offensive to talk about."

"Why do baked bean cans contain only 239 beans? Because if they had one more, they would be 240."

"I thought ""#2 pencil"" meant a poopy finger. Guess that explains the low test scores."

"There is a place with a 98% recycling rate! r/Jokes"

"Q: How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb? A: None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark."

"At school, I saw my principal walking around in a daze. I asked him whathappened, and he just looked at me and said, ""I've lost my faculties!"""

"If you need your iPhone repaired in Jerusalem, you obviously go to the Genius Bar. There, they don't serve alcohol..., ....but there's plenty of Apple Jews."

"A recent study estimated that 8% of all Facebook accounts are fake... unless you count people's personalities, then that number jumps to 93%."