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Joke of the Day

"If you need your iPhone repaired in Jerusalem, you obviously go to the Genius Bar. There, they don't serve alcohol..., ....but there's plenty of Apple Jews."

"Did you hear about the ghost who got put in prison? He was charged with possession."

"I'm holding a benefit for people with erectile dysfunction or orgasm issues. If you can't come, let me know."

"Her: I have a marathon coming. Me: Ooh, which show?"

"Why did Kim Jong Un's father go to hospital? He was Kim Jong Il"

"What happens when you get more than you payed for with a Mexican Gigolo? The second coming of Jesus."

"I have a condition that makes my heart rate jump when I see a poorly dressed person. It's called tackycardia."

"I told my wife she should call me a champion bullrider... Because I consistently last 8 seconds riding a horned animal."

"What does Skrillex call masturbating? Wubbing one out."

"when i give my policy number to a customer service automated system, i talk precisely & slowly. this is also how i talk to stoned teens"