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Joke of the Day

"If you need your iPhone repaired in Jerusalem, you obviously go to the Genius Bar. There, they don't serve alcohol..., ....but there's plenty of Apple Jews."

"Sometimes in life you have to give the people around you a little push, into traffic."

"What's the difference between a Jew and Santa Claus? Santa Claus goes *down* the chimney."

"Her: I LOVE your beard! Me: Thanks, yours is coming in nicely, too! Flirting with women my age is hard, guys."

"What do you get when you cross a seal and a polar bear? A polar bear."

"The worst part about being stoned at work is realizing it's your day off."

"Lawrence starts cooking Lawrence checks Twitter Lawrence smells smoke Lawrence Fishburne"

"what did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend... wiped his arse"

"""I don't know the government, and I'm not giving them any of my coins."" - my 4yo after I explained taxes"

"Ways Ryan Gosling and I are similar: 1. Up to date on our vaccinations 2. I dunno, that's probably it and I'm not sure about that first one."