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Joke of the Day

"Daughter just asked me how to spell bourbon so she's either asking Santa to hook up her old man or writing a letter to child services."

"Women: Can't live with 'em... ...Can't live with 'em."

"Can we still see the Grand Canyon from the air or has the government put a giant tarp over it?"

"My ex and I broke up because she said she couldn't be with someone who wanted her to change. I just wanted her to stop sleeping with my friends."

"I just submitted my application to be on the next season of Survivor... Which apparently was not the answer my dad was looking for when he asked ""How is the job search going?"""

"This Valentines Day, I want to really surprise my wife. So I'm gonna introduce her to my girlfriend."

"Why people hate the devil? Why do people hate the devil if he gives everyone a warm welcome?"

"Did you hear about the Mexican word of the day? Chicken wings My wife plays the lottery so chicken wings some money!!!"

"Guerrilla Glue It only works when you don't look at it."

"I saw a ""best at sex"" contest for gay men, where the judges were your fellow participants. It looked fun, so I entered the competition."