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Joke of the Day

"If I could have been any Monarch in history I would have been George the 6th But with asthma. That way I could introduce myself by saying I'm King George... and Wheezy."

"Apparently 1 out of 3 people cheat in a relationship I just don't know whether it's my wife, or girlfriend."

"Did you hear they had to shutdown Japan's first virtual reality porn exhibition? Too many people came."

"Who is the new member of the X-MEN Caitlyn Jenner"

"Why did the man throw duck food at Nurse Jackie? Because she was a quack."

"What does a Polish bride get on her wedding night that's long and hard? A new last name!"

"My girlfriend asked me to give her 12 inches and make it hurt... So I fucked her twice and slapped her"

"I totally understand how batteries feel... because I'm rarely ever included in things either."

"2 reasons why im fat 1) i eat when I'm bored 2) im always bored"

"Does the FBI really investigate aliens like on the X-Files? No, that's what the INS does."