177346
Joke of the Day
"Why are blind people bad computer programmers? Because they can't C."
Next Joke
"What if Toyota's problems with sticky accelerators were traced back to a pedalmaker who forgot to wash his hands after eating a honey bun?"
"Someone invented a yoga mat that rolls itself. If that person reads this tweet, I have a fitted sheet I'd like for you to look at."
"Why did the baker rob the bank? He needed the dough."
"I accidentally swallowed a turntable needle. Good thing nothing major happened good thing nothing major happened good thing nothing major happened good thing nothing major happened"
"My niece just asked for ""cow juice."" So adorable!!! I gave her a styrofoam tray of hamburger blood."
"Your kid is running around the store screaming at the top of his lungs annoying everyone and I'm the asshole for tripping him??"
"My ex-girlfriend weighed 85 pounds But that's about average considering she's 9"
"TIL that although Sting has been missing for a week... The Police still have no lead"
"During sex it's perfectly fine to say 'yeah', 'yes', 'oh yes'..but how awkward would it be if someone kept screaming 'Yep' .."