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Joke of the Day

"Yes, your honor, but in my defense I thought he was stung by a jellyfish"

"Come on Fred I'll take you to the zoo. If the zoo wants me let them come and get me!"

"Hope you guys like this, it's been a tough day. I bought a pair of sneakers from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day. :("

"If the salesman doesn't come with me on the test drive, I just take the car home and wait for them to come get it. I have so many cars now."

"A very interesting poem > I dig > You dig > He dig > She dig > They dig > We dig It might not be very long, but I think it is very deep."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Amelia ! Amelia who ? Amelia a package last week - did you get it ? !"

"Do you know what is ""Deja POO"" ? It's the feeling that you've heard this crap before."

"If the US ever decides to change its currency from the dollar to the unmatched tupperware lid I'll be a very wealthy man."

"What do Steve Harvey and a dentist have in common? They're both experts at placing temporary crowns."

"Made a special running playlist that's nothing but zombie moans & shuffling feet. I've lost 20 pounds & can run a 4:30 minute mile."