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Joke of the Day

"Do you know what is ""Deja POO"" ? It's the feeling that you've heard this crap before."

"I don't pluck my unibrow to look good, I do it because McDonald's sued me for illegal use of the double arches."

"How many teenagers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2, But you'll have to find a really big lightbulb to fit them in there."

"I couldn't figure out how the hammer and nails worked... So I just said ""Screw it."""

"What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? World War II."

"I'm writing a book about common Mexican names... I'm gonna call it ""50 Shades of Jose"""

"What is a monkeys favorite candy? Rhesus species"

"Why did the captain execute the pastry chef? Because his orders were to shoot all desserters."

"A girl phoned me the other day and said, ""Come on over, there's nobody home."" I went over. Nobody was home."

"So we need to go over your drug history... Let me stop you there. It's gonna be quicker if I just tell you the ones's I haven't done."