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Joke of the Day

"If the salesman doesn't come with me on the test drive, I just take the car home and wait for them to come get it. I have so many cars now."

"I always thought I should be a comedian... ... because growing up my parents always told me I was a fucking joke."

"Two fish swim into a concrete wall ""Dam"""

"What's the difference between a bull and a Samsung Note 7? I'm not scared when the bull charges"

"The Story of the Old, Empty Barn There was nothing in it."

"What do you call a Harrison Ford one man show? A Han Solo performance."

"Customer: Why don't you have doggie bags? Waiter: That would be cruelty to animals."

"At least once a day I say ""nice to meet you"" to someone I've already met which is a great feeling for all involved."

"Wait, you didn't let me finish. What I was trying to say is Hitler was largely misunderstood by people who don't speak German."

"How do you divide old Rome? Using a pair of Caesars."