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Joke of the Day

"Why does West Virginia have so many unsolved murders? There are no dental records and all the DNA is the same."

"Roommate: (looking over my shoulder at my files) What's ""goat_in_heels.wav"" (I slam my laptop shut & throw it through a closed window)"

"Today at the bank, a little old lady asked me to help check her balance. So, I pushed her over."

"GF: I'm leaving you because you're obsessed with Spanish puns and Despicable Me. ME: Please don't go. You're Juan in a minion."

"If a blind girl says you have a big penis She's probably just pulling your leg"

"I was going to make a joke about an oil refinery... but I didn't want to make a crude joke."

"Reporter: What went wrong in the Challenger launch? NASA: have you ever built a space ship? Reporter: well no bu- NASA: it's really hard"

"What did the apathetic philosopher doctor say? Who cures?"

"I've set my hair on fire lighting a cigarette before, so I'm always impressed when the movie-hero walks away from an explosion unharmed."

"A genie granted me a wish, i said i wish to turn me into something who always suck the blood of the beautiful women, then poooof, i became a tampon.."