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Joke of the Day

"me: I'm tired Medieval Physician: Ok I'm gonna cut you open to drain your blood me: Maybe I could rest MP: haha no I'm cutting your veins"

"Children are like ulcers... Their small, painful, restrict what you can and can't eat and by the time you've realised what's wrong you'll have 2 or 3 others"

"A woman flashed her tits at me today.... I just sat there and giggled like a school boy. Then she said to me "" will you stop mucking around and check this lump, doctor."""

"I don't mean to brag, but I'm in my 30's and my bank account makes me look 21."

"What's the turnover rate for pornstars? 100%"

"Geography joke from my son Him: What's the capitol of Switzerland? Me: Ummm, Geneva? Him: Nope!.... BERN!!!!"

"Waiter what's this fly doing in my soup? It's fly soup sir!"

"If you can't handle me at my worst that makes sense and I'm sorry for setting your house on fire."

"I have recently been saving up for a sex change I don't care what my wife thinks, she is going to have it"

"What do you call a cow that's scared of everything? Coward!"