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Joke of the Day

"What's the most flexible type of music group? An elastic band."

"Why couldn't the coal worker get into the movie? He was a miner."

"I like my women how I like my advent calendar. Against my wall, flaps open, ready to be eaten."

"Did you hear about the mathematician who got his calculator stuck up his bum? He had to work it out with a pencil..."

"Wanna know my New Year's Resolution? 4K, baby."

"I haven't seen my mom in a while My mom decided she'd rather be a man. Then we stopped seeing her much; That tends to happen with transparents."

"I'm so old I thought ""stfu"" was a reminder to pack my ""shoes, tie, fedora, underpants."""

"My 2-year-old ate the crust off her pizza but left the cheese and pepperoni untouched. Apparently I'm raising the Antichrist."

"If he can't build a wall, Trump is going to dig a giant hole at the border and cover it with a welcome mat like it's a Road Runner cartoon."

"What kind of wood doesn't float? Natalie Wood"