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Joke of the Day

"I haven't seen my mom in a while My mom decided she'd rather be a man. Then we stopped seeing her much; That tends to happen with transparents."

"Why did Sally fall off her swing? Because she had no arms"

"I can't believe how stupid that bloke in the Post Office was.... He said that my Parcel was too heavy and that I needed to put more stamps on it like that's going to make it lighter."

"My brother got into a car accident today I asked where he got into the accident at and how he was doing. He said he got into the accident in Oklahoma and that he is doing OK."

"I may be getting old but not ""doesn't know what day of the week it is"" old. I can tell by which day I open on my daily pill organizer."

"What was Justin Timberlake called when he was a kid? Justin Timberpuddle!"

"Lost three toes in a wood-chopping accident and my girlfriend dumped me Said she's lack-toes intolerant"

"I saw some girl texting and driving the other day and it really pissed me off... ...so i rolled down my window and threw my beer at her."

"Half the people who follow me are waiting for the nervous breakdown; the other half follow because they're easily impressed by semicolons."

"I have benefits if anybody needs a friend."