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Joke of the Day

"I'm so old I thought ""stfu"" was a reminder to pack my ""shoes, tie, fedora, underpants."""

"Hey, did you hear about the road paver who got fired? He couldn't even."

"Bigfoot is like a father to me... ... I've only ever seen him in photos, never in real life."

"Don't know why some countries have food problems If you're Hungary you could pour Greece over Turkey and fry it in Japan."

"Doctor: I have bad news for you. You only have 10 left to live. Patient: Ten what? Doctor: Nine. Eight..."

"What did the slice of pork say to the attractive woman.... ....you may be hot, but I'm bacon!!!"

"What do you get when cross religion with apples? Apple Jews."

"It was dark and hazy and I accidentally fapped to Rihanna .. thinking she was Halle berry"

"No, I am not insulting you. I am just describing you."

"TIL that condoms have serial numbers. What? Have you never rolled them down that far?"