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Joke of the Day

"My 2-year-old ate the crust off her pizza but left the cheese and pepperoni untouched. Apparently I'm raising the Antichrist."

"I created a new joke and a new word today Plagiarism"

"""Babe I'm ready for bed"" ""Why so early its the weekend?"" [background] ""Next up Channel 6 News reveals Ashley Madison's local business men"""

"What if Steven Hawking... What if Steven Hawking is the real Slim shady, but we don't know because he cant stand up."

"Next time your sit at a McDonald's playland and a parent asks you, ""Which one is yours?"" Say, ""I haven't picked one out yet!"" It's worth it."

"I doubt vodka is the answer, but it's worth a shot."

"He said he would call me at 5pm but didn't until 5.03pm. His lies will tear our relationship apart"

"I've just written a song about tortillas - actually, it's more of a rap."

"Why did the skeleton not go to his prom? he had noBODY to go with."

"What's black, blue and doesn't look too well? Stevie Wonder"