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Joke of the Day

"A joke from 1892 ""...one nation, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all."""

"What do you call a 16 year old black girl who has had a few abortions? a crime fighter."

"My girlfriend asked me why I was sitting with the eggs... I couldn't find my whisk, and if you can't beat them, you might as well join them..."

"What did the terrorist say to the racist and the socialist? ""We are the 2016 presidential candidate frontrunners."" This is a joke take it that way"

"I woke up this morning to find chinese writing all over my bedroom walls. I couldn't understand it."

"Atoms are Liars... They make up everything."

"[dog park] Go get it, boy! *dog returns with silver watch, silver bracelet & silver necklace* Ugh, you're the worst golden retriever ever"

"Whats the difference between a jew and a boyscout? The boyscout comes home from camp"

"I only want to know 1 thing form a fortune teller; where I am going to die. Because then I'd never go there!"

"I'll bet when two cannibals get trapped in an elevator going to lunch, around the fifth minute, things start getting a little weird."