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Joke of the Day

"Receptionist at a sperm bank ""Thanks for coming."""

"What happens when you ditch a gf for another she will become bff with your new gf, and become lesbians"

"I can already hear the birds judging me for sleeping till noon tomorrow."

"What do you call it when a frog jumps off a bridge? Kermitting suicide."

"*tips fedora at a mosquito* m'laria"

"Did you hear about the drummer who fell and hit his head? He was percussed."

"bill nye is short for william new years eve"

"B: Girl you so fine, I rate you a 9 3/4. G: Why? B: Because I wanna put myself in you. Harry Potter pickup line"

"A man walks into a graveyard bar ""Can I get a beer?"" he asks as he walks up to the bar. ""I'm sorry,"" replies the bartender. ""We serve only spirits."""

"Have you heard the new hipster joke? No? I just got it on vinyl"