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Joke of the Day

"Q: How do you find Will Smith in the snow? A: You look for the fresh prints! I'll show myself out y'all"

"RIP Paris Terror Attack Victims Never baguette"

"A rule for myself that's worked my entire life: when you hear the garage door open, put your penis away."

"Back-to-school tip for parents: while not explicitly forbidden, it is frowned upon to spray champagne on the hood of a departing school bus."

"How many white people does it take to screw in a light bulb? All of them. One to hold the bulb and the rest to screw the world."

"What do you call a line of rabbits walking backwards? A receding hare-line."

"My drug dealer sold me some shoes the other day... ...I dont know what he laced them with but Ive been tripping all day."

"What did the pissed off guy say when he landed in Thailand Phuk-et!"

"Why does Dr. Pepper come in a can? Because his wife is dead."

"Why was the paper man sent to jail? He was caught rustling."