176877

Joke of the Day

"Q: How do you find Will Smith in the snow? A: You look for the fresh prints! I'll show myself out y'all"

"My yard is full of bear traps cos I'm a bit weird about sharing milkshake."

"I heard that John Cena had a failed porn career... Every time they tried to do the money shot nobody could see him coming."

"So I was nailing my girl from behind ... After we were done she turns to me and says. ""my friends tell me you are a pedophile."" To which I reply ""That is an awfully big word for a 10 year old"""

"What do women and noodles have in common? They both wiggle when you eat them."

"#ItsTheEndOfTheWorldAnd I'm going to run with scissors and swim immediately after eating!!!"

"I opened the door for an old lady today... A few people stared when they seen me jump in front of her and just stand there to activate the automatic door though."

"Did you hear about the overweight prison escapee? They say he really let himself go."

"I like that the doctor always asks if I'm a smoker. When I say yes, he tells me I should quit. No shit? Thanks. Here's all my money."

"Why are lesbians such poor cooks? Because they love to eat out."