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Joke of the Day

"The KKK was a conservationist group. They just wanted to put the monkeys back in the trees."

"What does the Starship Enterprise and toilet paper have in common? They both glide around Uranus and wipe out Klingons!"

"""I have a bloody nose"" - a British person emphasizing the fact that he has a nose."

"Why did the ambassador have extra resistance to harmful foreign bacteria? He had diplomatic immunity."

"Me: and i love that thing u do with ur tongue piercing.. Wife: OMG [storms off] Me: WRITING OUR OWN VOWS WAS YOUR IDEA LYDIA [Priest faints]"

"Why are there so many women archeologists? Because they love digging up the past."

"Why did the armadillo cross the road? It didn't, it made it halfway and then got hit by a truck."

"I have a bumper sticker that says, ""honk if you think I'm sexy""... I just sit at green lights until I feel good about myself."

"I want to get into the porn industry But the competition is really stiff."

"Why can't you lie to an aborted fetus? It wasn't born yesterday."