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Joke of the Day

"""You can't build your own man."" They told me. But they underestimate my low standards. And my shopping cart full of luncheon meats."

"Why does Bill Clinton prefer B.J.s? Because he hates Costco."

"Why did the strawberry take the fig to the movies? Because he couldn't find a date!"

"What's enormous, gray, and unimportant? Irrelephant."

"How does Bilbo take his tea? Bag-in"

"3 Elephants jump out of a plane, the first two hit land and the last one hits water. What sound did they make? Bum-bum tssh!"

"Is this sub Reddit dead? There have barely been any decent posts all year!"

"Hello 911. ""He's back what do I do?"" Brent? ""Yes"" It's the just the mailman remember ""Ok, sorry."" Bye ""Wait, he put something in my mailbo"

"""Dad do you believe in Buddha?"" ""Why of course but I think margarine is just as good."""

"When playing ""Got your nose,"" make sure the victim is willing to play. Also, that you're not at a urinal. Also, that it's their nose."