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Joke of the Day

"3 Elephants jump out of a plane, the first two hit land and the last one hits water. What sound did they make? Bum-bum tssh!"

"Fact: 9/10 people enjoy date rape"

"Why does a bride smile when she walks up the aisle? She knows she's given her last blow job."

"why did the scarecrow get a promotion? he was outstanding in his field"

"I read that burglars use Twitter & Facebook to see when people arent home. So from now on, Im at home. With a rifle. And a hungry crocodile."

"My cat just winked at me and now it's awkward because I only see her as a friend."

"Last night I found out that my wife has conditional gender dysphoria. She said that she needed to be Frank with me."

"How do you check the intonation of a guitar underwater? With a tuna."

"How does a boat captain determine his profit? By using aquadratic equation. (Via my coworker)"

"I'm so petty People call me Tom"