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Joke of the Day
"I could tell you a joke about TCP.... But I'd have to keep repeating it until you got it."
Next Joke
"You can convince people to go anywhere with the promise of free food."
"*dancing with the stars* *all of a sudden there's a fault in our stars* me(to stars): what the hell guys? we practiced this! *star wars*"
"I made a bold statement by not buying two night-stands for my bedroom. I'm a one night stand kind of man."
"Relationships are like houseplants, if they're mine they die"
"TIFU by accidentally making a private message a public comment revealing my Jalapeno and Cheese Recipe. It was nacho business reddit."
"The best thing about alcohol hand gel in hospitals isn't the hygiene, but that everyone walks around like they're hatching a dastardly plan."
"What do you call a Chinese billionaire? ChaChing!"
"For Sale: Starter motor for Perpetual Motion Machine. Only used once."
"[undoes GFs bra first time] ""wow have you been practicing?"" don't be ridiculous [me and dog exchange glances]"