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Joke of the Day

"You can convince people to go anywhere with the promise of free food."

"Wifey is pregnant again. She wants a girl but I want a black guy so I have someone to play basketball with."

"Police chase I was racing towards a cliff with police sirens ringing in my ears when I noticed my mirror was broken and I realized there was no looking back now"

"What's the best part about having sex with a gilf? You can finger her and grab her titties with one hand at the same time. ;)"

"I walked in on my roommate masturbating in the shower I said ""Mate, that's disgusting"" Him: ""Fuck off I can wash it as fast as I like!"""

"Doctors to Patients The patient says, ""Doctor, I have a pain in my eye whenever I drink tea."" The doctor says, ""Take the spoon out of the mug before you drink."""

"[breakfast in hell] STALIN: Toast is burnt POL POT: Eggs are rotten HITLER: I hate the juice STALIN: Oh here we go HITLER: I said JUICE"

"my friends are getting married and i'm here wondering what the diff between a soft taco and a burrito and if i should get both for dinner"

"A man is put on trial for committing mass genocide against the people of Scotland. It looked like he would be in prison for life... ...but he got off Scot-free."

"What's the difference between anal sex and an oven? The oven doesn't fart when you take the meat out."