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Joke of the Day

"Anal sex is a lot like broccoli. If you don't like it at home, you're really gonna hate it in the school cafeteria."

"We all make mistakes... especially your parents!"

"[high school reunion] ""Hey aren't u the kid who used to lie and throw people under the bus all the time?"" No that was Tyler."

"Found a note on my door today that said ""You're Awesome!"" (: I'm the one that wrote it. But still... feels fucking good!"

"I bet cannibals were really disappointed by elbow macaroni."

"knock knock player 1: whos there player 2: hola player 1: hola who player 2: holawhosn"

"""*RING**RING* in the middle Of night! ""Hello?"" ""Hey man are you home?"" ""No dude i just picked up my house phone from Burger King."""

"Who is the best Podracer in Star Wars? Michael Chewbacca EDIT: Some people don't get the joke..... Michael schumacher is a F1 race car driving legend. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Schumacher"

"Marathon runner: I think we're lost. Why does that sign say Grand Canyon? Are you sure this is the right way? Lemming: Just trust me, ok?"

"Co-worker: My husband & I are praying for a baby. Me: You know that's not how you get 1, right? You gotta have sex. What does HR want now?"