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Joke of the Day

"I bet cannibals were really disappointed by elbow macaroni."

"Leave it to the idiot hippys to adopt a ""holiday"" on Hitler's Birthday. Merica."

"They say dad's a transvestite. -Mommy, mommy! The kids in school say that dad's a transvestite! -Son, your mom's in the kitchen."

"I couldn't figure out why my data wasn't coming out like my classmate's, until I realized I dropped a square root in the formula. I put it back in and re-plotted the data. I saw a radical change."

"[loudly so dad who's been depressed since mom left can hear] Oh no, my GPS broke! If only I had some good DRIVING DIRECTIONS *dad looks up*"

"What's the difference between Jews and Boyscouts? Boyscouts come back from camp."

"Lawyers have feelings too.. ...allegedly."

"What is the most masculine profession? Maleman"

"I wondered what my parents did to kill boredom before the internet. I mean, I asked my 26 brothers and sisters and none of them had a clue."

"People tell me that I'm a bad knitter oops, wrong thread"