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Joke of the Day

"My friend gave me his number and told me to hit him up. Now he's got two broken bones and a restraining order..."

"winter is coming the snow is what?"

"Police Officer: Do you speak English? Jose: Yes. Police Officer: Where are you from? Jose: Yes"

"9 years ago i asked the girl of my dreams out on a date, today i asked her to marry me. She said no both times."

"I've got a friend whose nickname is 'shagger'. You might think that's pretty cool. She doesn't like it."

"What the difference between a feminist and a knife? A knife has a point."

"""Eat right and exercise?!?... I dunno...seems like some kind of a scam, Doc."""

"Did you hear about the chameleon that couldn't change color? He had reptile dysfunction."

"Annie, are you ok? You sure? Cool That's how long that song would've lasted if I sang it."

"""DO NOT TOUCH"" Must be the scariest thing to read ... ... in Braille."