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Joke of the Day

"""Eat right and exercise?!?... I dunno...seems like some kind of a scam, Doc."""

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"Why are the reddit servers down so much? Because they're being beaten like a dead horse."
"Why do blondes like blonde jokes? It makes them feel popular."
"How do you get 100 babies into a bucket... With a blender How do you get them out again? With tortilla chips"
"I had a friend... ... who wanted to do a project about youth in Asia. Unfortunately, the government pulled the plug on it."
"Why is it unjust to blame taxi drivers for cheating us? We call them to take us in. (From The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Handbook of Conundrums, by Edith B. Ordway. So this is a century old joke.)"
"What do you get when you breed a Shih Tzu with a Poodle? A shit poo"
"A man walks into a library and says to the librarian, ""do you have that book for men with small penises?"" ""Yeah it's on the third lane"" ""Okay, thanks"""
"The next World Cup is going to be held in Nevada FIFA Las Vegas"
"I have invented a kitchen cleaner that kills 0.1% of bacteria. I plan to sell the secret to Dettol."