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Joke of the Day

"My first blow job was over 20 years ago now... And some days I wonder if that taste will ever go away?"

"Judge: Are you married? A. No I'm divorced. Judge. And what did your husband do before you divorced him? A. A lot of things I didn't know about."

"How many police chefs does it take to beat an egg None, the little brown bastard accidentally fell down the stairs."

"Two wrongs don't make a right. But 3 lefts do."

"Whichever marketing genius created the ""Kim Kardashian Kollection"" must not know much about history or acronyms."

"It's probably too soon for Ebola jokes on here... ...but when the time comes, I bet they're gonna be killer."

"At my local police station, the toilet was stolen The police have nothing to go on"

"if you're ever running late just bring a huge glass of milk along and be drinking it noisily as you walk in and no one will say shit to you"

"What is a moo hoo for steak that came late? Filet delay!"

"Parent pro tip: Beware of the child who cleans their room without being prompted. They are about to ask to borrow money."