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Joke of the Day

"What is a moo hoo for steak that came late? Filet delay!"

"without a doubt my least favourite thing about being alive is having a body, hate taking care of this hunk of shit"

"Why do children cry when they find out Santa isn't real? They figured out who has been drinking their milk and eating the cookies!"

"In Tesla Motors you... Don't drive car, car drives you."

"The other day I was wondering, why does a frisbee appear larger the closer it gets? And then it hit me."

"Just saw a woman, covered in red paint, running and screaming from an abandoned country house, LOL good prank."

"What's easier to load into a garbage truck, babies or bowling balls? Babies, because you can use a pitchfork."

"If someone is choking the best thing to do is ask them if they're okay repeatedly then if that fails give a concerned look until resolved."

"Just blew pot smoke on the huge spider hiding in my shower. I figure if I do this a few more times, he'll be too stoned to attack me."

"Obesity researchers have discovered a new approach to solve the problem. They are now focusing on just making people taller."