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Joke of the Day

"if you're ever running late just bring a huge glass of milk along and be drinking it noisily as you walk in and no one will say shit to you"

"I don't get it. Rock beats scissors but no one says shit about running with them."

"What do you call someone that lives next a horse? Their neighbor"

"What's the first thing Michael Jackson did when he walked into a Chuck 'E' Cheese? Beat it."

"What's the difference between a joke and hundred of penises Seriously I can't take this joke anymore"

"Did you hear about the Homeopath who forgot to take his medication? He died of overdose"

"HER:He doesn't trust me. THERAPIST:How so? HER:He's always spying on me. ME (dressed as Therapist):Really? THERAPIST:WTF HER:WTF ME:WTF"

"Why do black people only have nightmares? Because the one that had a dream got shot!"

"How can you tell that the toothbrush was invented in Kentucky? Because it is not called a teethbrush."

"I showed up to run a marathon, but realized that I had forgotten my water bottle. I decided to run anyway... ... I finished in 3^st"