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Joke of the Day

"Hey let's meet somewhere for drinks and text the people we'd rather be hanging out with."

"Kids are like squaring numbers If they're under 12 just do them in your head."

"God returns to his desk with lunch. Taking a bite, he looks over at video monitors marked ""Earth"". The avocado drops out of his sandwich."

"Hey guys who write updates about how all girls are beautiful and should be respected, did you figure it out on your own or did your boyfriend tell you??"

"[Dumbledore gets hit with Avada Kedavra] HOUSE MD: I think he had lupus."

"""Do you know how fast you were going?"" 75 in a 55. I'm sorry officer. ""Get out of the car."" *Cop cuddles driver* ""Stop doing this. I worry."""

"I once joked about Ebola. Everyone started laughing. It was contagious."

"What do the Welsh like to do in their private time? Oh, sorry guys. It would've been a baaaaaa-d joke."

"Was watching a fetish video and it cut to the guy at the last second I think I got off on the wrong foot."

"If a tree falls down in the woods.. If a tree falls down in the woods and nobody's around to react to it, do the Fine Bro's still submit a copyright claim?"