54627

Joke of the Day

"God returns to his desk with lunch. Taking a bite, he looks over at video monitors marked ""Earth"". The avocado drops out of his sandwich."

"My gay joke probably won't be loved, butt fuck it."

"My Grandmother recently passed away and left me everything in her will. I guess you could say that I'm Grammy nominated."

"The new season of House of Cards will be nothing compared to what lies ahead with President Trump!"

"A Christmas Wish Little Johnny wrote a letter to Santa, Dear Santa Claus Please send me a sister for Christmas Santa wrote back, Dear Little Johnny Please send me your mother"

"On Average, ovulating women prefer rugged & masculine men. Menstruating women prefer men duct-taped and on fire."

"What do you call a cow who just gave birth? Decalfeinated"

"Careful, friends. [bends down and examines a handprint in the sidewalk] There is a very powerful child nearby."

"How do you top a train? Tep on the break tupid! :D:D:D"

"Mississippi's Education/Testing scores are the worst in the nation... yep, we're ranked 53rd."