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Joke of the Day

"I can't believe all of this violence and rioting is happening... ... all because Craig Ferguson is leaving his show."

"What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? Donald Trump never asked to have a lentil on his face."

"I once farted in an Apple Store... I once farted in an Apple Store. They got mad at me and I said it's your fault, you don't have windows"

"I think abs are for guys that don't have the confidence to wear a nice T-shirt to the pool."

"Knew a Muslim kid in college who was notorious for being late to everything We called him 9/12"

"I'm just a boy, standing in front of a girl, asking her to help me put a bunch of ducks in my car."

"""Rapunzel! Let down your hair!"" RAPUNZEL: Hey hair, ya wanna go get ice cream? HAIR: Yeah! RAPUNZEL: Well too bad. Because we're not."

"""You talk the talk, but can you walk the walk?"" Ask the lady to the guy on the wheelchair."

"My plan to reduce shark attacks. Get them hooked on meth. Getting gummed by a toothless shark probably tickles."

"What do you get when you pour root beer into a square glass? Beer"