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Joke of the Day
"Fred: My mum's having a new baby. Drew: What's wrong with the old one?"
Next Joke
"What's the biggest sign she's just not into you? a restraining order."
"What is the area at the Danish/German border called? The DaneGer zone! I'll show myself out."
"What is the opposite of an iPad Mini? A Maxi Pad"
"I'll vote for whichever presidential candidate promises to end the banter before two people announce who won an Emmy."
"just saw a church sign that says, ""santa claus never died for anyone."" and i'm like, ""okay well jesus never brought me a barbie dreamhouse."""
"Why don't orphans play baseball. Because they don't know where home is."
"I'd let you be the reason my cheeks blush.. All four of them"
"wish I never spent that $20 my grandma gave me when I was 12, I could really use it right now"
"Relationships are like yard sales.... They look like fun from a couple yards away, but up close it's just a bunch of crap you don't need."