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Joke of the Day

"CAUTION: Even if your wife uses dual a sim phone, save both the number under one name ""WIFE"". Never save it as ""Wife 1"" & ""Wife 2""."

"If I had to guess where everything went wrong, I'd have to say it was the day I learned ""elemenopee"" wasn't one awesome letter."

"I don't know why they invite me to an Easter egg hunt, then freak out when I turn up in camo gear with my rifle."

"As a purple faced man I long to meet a purple faced woman someday... Don't hold your breath"

"What do you call an angry German? A sour kraut."

"Why did the Jonestown jokes never catch on? The punchlines were too long."

"My girlfriend just caught me blow drying my penis... ...and asked what I was doing. Apparently ""heating your dinner"" was not the correct answer."

"When I go out to eat I wear a shirt w/ a picture of me shirtless on it, because I hate rules but I like service."

"*uses Oujia board* SMELLS LIKE UPDOG me: what's updog? NOT MUCH, DOG, JUST ABOUT TO POSSESS YOUR CAT me: what cat: what"

"I climaxed on a blind girl's boobs yesterday She didn't see it coming"