175882

Joke of the Day

"My grandpa says, ""Comedians are too dark and don't tell set-up punchline jokes anymore."" So, a suicidal teen walks into a car."

Next Joke
 
"If the opposite of ""pro"" is ""con"", then what's the opposite of ""progress""? ""Cliche jokes""."
"Americans kill more Americans than ISIS kills Americans so we should probably play it safe and not let any more Americans into America."
"How to fall down stairs: Step 1: Step 2: Step 3: Step 4: Step 5: Step 6: Step 7: Step 8: Step 9: Step 10: Step 11: Step 12: Step 13: Step 14: Step 15: Step 16: Step 17: Step 18: Step 19: Step 20:"
"If you marry an 18 year old they call you a cradle robber.. So if you marry a 70 year old, does that make you a grave robber?"
"What sort of net is useless for catching fish ? A football net !"
"My doctor said I need to drink more water every day, so I have started putting ice cubes in my vodka."
"""C'mon, your relationship isn't *that* serious."" - Las Vegas"
"ENTRY-LEVEL JOB OPENING: Minimum 3 years exp required. Must speak 4 languages, have 2 Olympic medals & a reference letter from Barack Obama."
"My kids got in a fist fight while playing one of those claw machines at the pizza joint & shit like that is why I'm never sober."