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Joke of the Day

"My kids got in a fist fight while playing one of those claw machines at the pizza joint & shit like that is why I'm never sober."

"Two Texans taking a leak off the GW Bridge on a December night Man, it's cold. Yeah, deep too!"

"In space, no one can hear you scream. In cyberspace, no one can shut you up."

"Why did the woman fall into the well? She couldn't see that well."

"Women: When it comes to doggie style...men are behind you 100%"

"What Will Come After Fuller House? Fullest House. Then, Get Out of My House"

"Do You Like Wendy's? Well you're not gonna like it Wendy's nuts are bouncing off your chin."

"""I'm not a violent person but people can change"", I whisper as someone takes a bite of my food."

"Why don't sea creatures get divorced? Because they can't afford abalone."

"What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves? Christopher Walken. (Not sure if it's a repost, but I don't think I've seen it posted here.)"