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Joke of the Day

"Why did the angry skeptic keep ignoring official reports about the eventual release of Half-Life 3? He was blowing off Steam"

"What's the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts? beer nuts are $1.50 and deer nuts are under a buck"

"We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture."

"Today is International Women's Day. It was actually supposed to be held yesterday but they took too long to get ready."

"Q: How do you get a blond out of a tree? A: Wave"

"Don't waste electricity. How would you like it if I turned you on and walked away?"

"For every chick that's crying about no good guys out there...there's a dude she's ignoring that's good to her."

"Why do women fake orgasms? Because they think men care."

"Single by choice, just not my choice. Damn you, 19th amendment!"

"I've come from the future to let you know the Chilean miners will be OK, and that we haven't yet perfected time travel."