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Joke of the Day

"Today is International Women's Day. It was actually supposed to be held yesterday but they took too long to get ready."

"I ate an optimist once... But I couldn't keep him down."

"Who discovered Victoria Falls? Whoever tripped her."

"I asked my wife what women really want, she said attentive lovers. Or maybe she said ""a tent of lovers."" I wasn't really listening."

"What's the difference between an onion and a prostitute? When I cut up a prostitute i don't cry."

"'I'm sure it's just water,' I mumble as I sit down on the gas station toilet."

"My girlfriend was so intent on going shopping for a dress that she wouldn't even think about seeing a movie. I swear, she's such a clothes-minded person sometimes."

"How do you know you've had a really good orgasm? When you have to pull the sheet out of your ass..."

"A termite walks into a bar... He says, ""Is the bar tender here?"""

"Why can't a Blonde make Kool-Aid?? She can't fit the two cups of water into the tiny packet."