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Joke of the Day
"If I were British I would carry around a monicle and drop it whenever I was horrified"
Next Joke
"Once killed a man with my SuperSoaker. (I'd been pumping it for a REALLY long time.)"
"Cop: You were speeding so I'm going to be giving you a ticket Me: Ooh, could I win something Cop: Sort of, 2 more of these & you get a bike"
"Knock-Knock Joke given to me by a Star Wars fan Knock Knock Who's There? Metaphors Metaphors who? Metaphors be with you"
"Follow me on Pinterest for seasonal craft ideas and spells for summoning ancient demons."
"I got a new couch... ...wasn't sure how comfortable it would be, but sofa so good!"
"Why did the Turkey join the band? because he had two Drumsticks."
"Pokemon GO is a blatant ripoff of another popular app... called Tinder, where you also swipe to find monsters in your area."
"What did the hypnotist say when he got his own website.... Hyp Hyp Hooray."
"I ordered a horse from a rancher, but got a mule. Seems he half-assed it..."