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Joke of the Day
"The scariest punchline to a long-running joke: ""Welcome to the Oval Office, President Trump!"""
Next Joke
"How did the blonde chip her teeth? using a vibrator"
"Why did Donald Trump watch the olympics? To see how high the mexicans pole vaulters can jump"
"Did you know the right Woman can make you a Millionaire? You just have to start as a billionaire."
"You know what we call comedy gold in the chemistry world? Ha2Au (I'm sorry, also the 2 should be sub-scripted but reddit wouldn't let me do that)"
"If laughter was the best medicine... Your face would cure the world!"
"You don't need to put ""narcissist"" in your bio. This is twitter, that shit goes without saying."
"What's the difference between a gay and a microwave.... You can't brown a sausage in a microwave"
"What do you call a math class full of SJW's? Triggernometry."
"[first day as a bartender] Customer: gimme a scotch on the rocks Me [scrunching towel into glass]: I know lemonade, I can do lemonade"