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Joke of the Day

"If it wasn't for my incredible willpower, I would be exercising right now."

"Click here for 17 facts about suicide methods..... #8 will blow your mind!"

"Well, it's getting to that time of year when my wife gets drunk and gives her annual blow job. I hope it's me this year!"

"The ""eye for an eye"" philosophy isn't exactly a level playing field if your grievance is with a cyclops."

"What do you call lesbians doing karate? dikewondo"

"*stands up and screams* ""PICTURES OR IT DIDN'T HAPPEN!"" *gets thrown out of Easter service during sermon of the resurrection*"

"Want to make sure you don't walk in on anyone masturbating when you get home? Try opening a bag of chips quietly when you get to your street"

"What's the definition of a woman? Life support for a cunt."

"What bird has wings but cannot fly ? Roast turkey !"

"i'm so sorry sir, but we here at chase bank don't accept gun-for-money exchanges. and we need an amount, not just ""all the money you got"""