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Joke of the Day

"*stands up and screams* ""PICTURES OR IT DIDN'T HAPPEN!"" *gets thrown out of Easter service during sermon of the resurrection*"

"Blair Walsh tried to commit suicide after the game But he couldn't even kick the chair out from under himself"

"How does a jew celebrate Christmas ? He installs a parking meter on the roof"

"*Playing catch* *dad throws ball over fence* ""I'll get it son!"" *25 years later* ""Wow he must've thrown it far"""

"If a fat person has a fully functioning penis... If a fat person has a fully functioning penis, does that make them a sperm whale?"

"What do you call a communist sniper A Marxman"

"I get the feeling some of you have been told by others of you not to talk to me. This means war."

"I heard a great joke in the elevator today It was funny on so many levels."

"[On phone with Pizza Hut] Me: I texted my order 4 hrs ago! PH: Are you sure you didn't tweet it...again? Me: PH: Sir? Me: K. Love you. Bye."

"What did Reddit say to his elderly mother when he tried to take her to a home? Get in the Karma."